Monday, March 23, 2015

14 Weeks

Ok, so after last week's weight loss, I actually didn't lose anymore today, yay!

All my maternity shirts were saggy on me and I hated it SO I got some regular fucking clothes. Tight tank tops cuz I'm young and hot and I can LOL.

And I have a REAL bump. Every time I have a crampy day, I swear my uterus explodes a couple days after. Well, I had a crampy day and then BOOM! Explosion. Today the baby was laying transverse AT MY BELLY BUTTON! Which is right were the blue meets the white in the picture.

Something REALLY COOL happened this past week, the baby and I have a game. I feel around on my stomach to where I think I feel the baby, put the doppler there, then I hear the heartbeat. If he or she is awake, they usually move so I do it again, and I find them again. It's pretty fucking cool. I've had my friends feel, so I know I'm not crazy. As far as movements go, maybe I'm feeling them but I'm really second guessing. I think I've had one kick in the past week. Not so much rolling anymore, but I can hear the movement on the doppler.

AND I found a gender ultrasound place around here that will do it at 15 weeks and since I measure a week ahead, I'm probably going to take the earliest appointment I can get since I'm sure it will be next week most likely.

But THE most important thing is that I am DONE with the first trimester, it can really go fuck itself. Now I do have headaches everyday and I'm occasionally still sick and I sleep ALL the time but it feels damn good to be out of there. It's like hey, I'm REALLY pregnant lol. And to celebrate, I bought my stroller and carseat.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Pregnancy Update #21 - 13 Weeks: Bella Syndrome

If you haven't read twilight, you won't get this. I have Bella syndrome. My baby is growing way too fast, it might be a vampire, and it's sucking me dry. Since the last post I haven't been eating. Terrible. I get on the scale and I'm down at least half a pound a day. First it was all fun and cute like yay I'll be skinny and cute. Then it got uncute real fast.

The whole not eating thing is just not me. I don't think it's my body's thing either. I started to feel so weak, I'd be dizzy and swerve when I drove. I slept more than anything and when I'd go to move it's like my body begged me not to. There was a physical sensation of revolt. Eating was literally an effort. I hated everything. Even though I didn't throw up, I wanted to constantly. I knew it was getting bad when everyone started commenting on how I looked skinnier or like I lost weight.

But then, I discovered blood err I mean Tums. Those things are freaking amazing and for the first time in a long time I consumed more than a thousand calories in a day vs. a week.

And oh yeah! Headaches! Almost every day. It could be allergies because the pollen is bad but damn.

Then I had a dream, a very distinct realistic dream that I got my gender ultrasound and they said girl in only 2.5 seconds. I am sooo dying to know! Now everyone's saying I have to name her Renesmee and I'm

Speaking of which, I kinda have a boy name but still nothing for girls.

Here's a belly pic but it's really food more than anything :(

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Pregnancy Update #20 - 12.5 Weeks

Babies. They are crazy. I was GOING to say I had been feeling much better and less nauseous, almost back to my old self the past three days. Like magic, once 12 weeks hit I was all better. The one day I felt like eating more than one meal, I did, and everything seemed good. UNTIL I threw it ALL up like stomach flu vomiting. Over and over and over, dry heaving with no breaks thus no oxygen lol. I can't say I'm upset because I knew what I signed up for. All in all though, I do feel better as far as that is concerned but my stomach literally hurts if I eat more than a half a cup of something. I'm down another pound, too.

I'm still tired but not like I was. That all day, all consuming cloud of exhaustion is gone but I can still fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I could still sleep 12 hours and then take naps and go to bed on time and it is amazing.

So yeah, the bump is shrinking even more. I can't believe my butt looks big in relation to something lol.

Friday, March 13, 2015

Pregnancy Update #19 - NT Scan

First off, I'm really pissed that I paid $137 and she (the tech, not my doc) wouldn't even attempt to let me see the angle of the dangle. That being said, I couldn't see shit regardless, damn you, astigmatism! SO no idea what it is...except that it's for sure my child. Big feet and big ears like my dad's side, flat back of the head like my mom and I, and loooong limbs lol. And hyper. He/she moved so much! I saw everything, rolls, kicks, even waving. Saw the heart, stomach, brain, and cord. AND, measuring even MORE ahead, like 13 weeks at 12w1d from the first measurement, but 11w6d from IVF dates. Just like my niece and nephew, born gargantuan and early to boot. Sooo probably a Virgo baby unless I miraculously go late. Everything checked out ok, the neck fluid was about perfect. I'm probably not going to get the Maternit21 unless the regular screenings warrant it, especially since there are places that will do gender ultrasounds at 14 weeks and the baby looks good. I could definitely save that gran for something else.

It really has done wonders for me in the bonding department. This time I felt that was MY baby on the screen, not just A baby or SOME baby. Being able to see yourself in another being is amazing. And it helps how big he/she is, being able to feel them more and visualizing them with the doppler. I think that weird echo I heard was the cord. I feel silly now lol.

And here are some terribly bad pictures. I had to scan them and then edit them because the machine at the doctor's prints SO dark.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Pregnancy Update #18 - 12 Weeks


I said it.

I am going CRAZY!

My doppler has been acting funny and I couldn't hear ANYTHING on it the other day, except my own heartbeat on my heart and brachial artery, which sounds WAY different from the baby's. It was almost like hearing 4 sounds instead of two. Today the baby's heartbeat seemed to have a weird echo too but maybe it was the doppler.

The morning sickness is crazy more intense now. I feel like I'm pregnant in reverse. I eat a big meal maybe once a day, then the rest liquids. I try to get in a protein drink when I don't eat as much. Mashed potatoes are my savior and I drink orange juice a lot. Even when I am hungry, it's like my stomach is tiny and I can't eat too much at once. It's 7 pm now and all I've had is 3 inches of sub, orange juice, and green tea. Gum helps sometimes, too. I keep thinking I need to eat but then I get distracted. I am just not hungry like I used to be. I'm not really concerned about the number on the scale. Before that 2 week diet, I was pushing obese on the BMI scale. I don't feel I look obese, but my body fat % also says different, it's worse than my BMI. I'm also naturally skinny, ok, well WAS before PCOS, so if my pregnancy fixes that and I revert back to my natural metabolism, then yeah, I'm going to lose a lot of weight or just not gain a lot. According to the ACOG, as long as the baby measures ok, no big deal.

I'm almost back down to my post-diet, pre-pregnancy weight. Like 2 pounds away. My bump pretty much disappeared overnight. Excuse the pajamas.

Lately, I have had this Hawaii/beach town bug. I want to move ON the beach, not close to lol. I live where I've grown up my whole life: born here, raised here, etc. and with the beach only 10 minutes away, I've gone maybe a handful of times. Which is pathetic. The feel is so different there, there's so much vibrance and life like people always walking their dogs or biking or running and I don't have that where I live. I could definitely see it as somewhere to raise my kids. I could also see myself moving to Hawaii. Most people there I met were quite crunchy and that's something I could get down with. 

Friday, March 6, 2015

Pregnancy Update #17 - 11.5 Weeks

I just paid my OB $40 to take a 5 second listen to the heartbeat on doppler....WTF! I do that at home everyday for free!

My NT scan is set for 12w1d. I got the script for the Maternit21 which is more likely to cost me anywhere from $600-$1000. Tax money has to go somewhere I guess. And I can write it off next year! With that, I'll be foregoing most of the quad screen except the part that checks for spina bifida risk at 15 weeks-ish at my next appointment.

I have a rash on my chest. It's like random, almost pimply looking things. Not good looking. I also have more breakouts on my back/shoulders as of late. I think it has something to do with the heat and I feel like I come home from working in a mechanic shop covered in grease.

That's it. How exciting.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Pregnancy Update #16 - 11 Weeks

"You'll feel better by the end of the first trimester" my ass. I am dead tired. My morning sickness is as worse as it's ever been and I'm still exhausted. Sometimes I have a hard time eating. Like I don't/can't eat. And then when I do, it's small portions. Lovely. At the same time, I'm craving candy. Jelly beans specifically. It's about the only thing that doesn't make me sick. I threw away food from one of my favorite places yesterday. It was like committing the gravest sin, I have sunk so low. I'm sick most of the day, all day. I haven't thrown up but I've came close. I have to use all my mental power not to because my muscles clench so hard you know it's going to be one of those never-ending barfs where you'll bust the capillaries in your eyes and dry heave bile while not being able to breathe and praying for death. Yeah, just eat up that imagery.

I got some stuff knocked off the nursery to-do list, that makes me feel accomplished. I've managed to hold off and still haven't bought anything specifically baby.

Did I mention I really really really really really really really wanna know what this kid is? Still no intuition either way. I know people say if you don't care, you're lying, but I'll say this: I have equally awesome expectations about having a son or a daughter. There. Because I DO care obviously.

And I used to sware to myself that I wouldn't be that crazy lady feeling movements too early but....

I am that lady. And I'd almost bet my life on it that it's not gas.

Gas hurts, gas occurs directly over and under my fundus and on the sides of my uterus along with other places, and I can usually feel it build in my rectum, followed by, you guessed it, a fart. Did I mention it hurts REALLY bad?

Somewhere on the early side of ten weeks I was driving to work and I just felt it. At first, I was like ahhh, that feels nice, like an internal massage of wonderful. But then it took me a second to realize hey! That might be the baby! But no, I'm crazy. Suddenly, the word "quickening" made a whole lot of sense, when before I thought that was a stupid as hell word to describe a feeling. It felt...I wanna say heavenly, like this peace just came over me. Ethereal. Physically, it felt like the baby must have been flipping and like someone was dragging their finger gently on my insides. It happened again that night and I quickly grabbed my doppler. WEIRD sounds people! It sounded like something moving in water (duh) like swimming away so I guess likening it to a goldfish makes sense. Today it happened again, along with what I'm pretty sure were two kicks. Two distinct "pops". The feelings are so gentle, it's hard to really describe. But I love them. The thing about it is, I only seem to feel things when the baby is high up, which right now is about half an inch to an inch under my belly button. Speaking of which, my fundal height HAS to be more than normal at 12 weeks, so I guess this could explain why I feel things early. And oh yeah, I look REALLY big for only 11 weeks. Excuse the crappy Walmart bathroom shot.

I feel it is a more "mature" bump, like the pointy part is higher up than it was before, more like a REAL bump.