I feel WEIRD! And nauseous.
So today I had my appointment and I'm dilated more than last time but not quite 1 cm. Not effaced. It's supposed to go the other way around! Why EPO, why!?!?!? But it feels like I have a rubber band around my hips and the area is sore, along with pressure in my butt and my pubic bone. I mean, I get a lot of signs and symptoms, but never consistently. Today it's consistent.
THEN as soon as I got home I felt exhausted, just like yesterday. I don't know what's going on but it's like I can get to that point right before falling asleep but it never actually happens, and I go through this for hours and hours. And I hallucinate. Yep. One day at work before I left, I saw big bugs crawling on the wall. They were obviously not real, they kinda looked cgi-animated like in movies and as soon as I shook my head and blinked they were gone. Sunday, I was hearing things while trying to sleep, like someone was cleaning the bathroom, thumping and spraying scrubbing bubbles in the tub. Today, I was feeling things. I went to go pee and hallucinated that my water broke. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt my water broke.
I'm so ready for her to be here it almost hurts. It's like I miss her, and it makes me want to cry. I feel like...when I see her for the first time, I'll know her, like I've always known her.
Then again, I would not be surprised if she doesn't come till wayyy later.