Wednesday, October 5, 2016

1 Year Old

So the party wasn't a repeat of the baby was worse than the baby shower. I'd probably put it up there with the most disappointing days of my life. Next year, there will be no party. I'm taking my girl somewhere special, just us two.

But the pictures shall commence anyway...

I can't believe Ava is 1 already. It's so weird not having a baby but a little girl. She still has that super maternal attitude. The other day she gave her baby doll her paci and patted her back. She LOVES baby dolls and babies in general. She finally started to point too! I admit to being slightly worried about that milestone.

And this diet thing is not working. 2 weeks of keeping to it perfectly and not a single pound lost. I cheated for 3 days and magically lost 3 pounds. So I don't know. Maybe back to paleo.

Oh, and I quit my job for sure. I'll sum it up with this: it was so bad, I just walked the fuck out. I have some savings to fall back on and I've been applying to basically anything but I learned from my own mother that having a job that causes you so much stress you take it out on your kid isn't worth it. 

Friday, September 30, 2016

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

11.75 Months Old


About 10 seconds after my last post. Now she is walking steadily, though sometimes she prefers to crawl.

We are both still alive and well. I've been swamped with work, school, and party planning.

She is beginning to find things way more amusing than before and has quite the sense of humor. Also, she surprised the hell out of me with "I did it!" and "what's that book?". Although she's still way behind where I was on milestones, she has her own unique intelligence. For example, she is very nurturing. She loves to cuddle her stuffed animals and has taken to wrapping them up in a blanket and also likes to grab your face to touch foreheads together. Another new thing she does is hiding toys behind her back when playing with someone, almost in a sneaky way. If you ask her if she pooped and needs a new diaper, she will say "yes".

I think she's going to finish out the year at 31.5 inches and 22 pounds. For sure, she's feeling heavier and heavier.

Personally, it seems pregnancy did NOT cure my PCOS. Last period I thought I was going to bleed out. Ok, let me preface this by saying about 30ish days into my cycle, I had 5 days of light spotting, some days it was bright red, but scant. 27 days later, the floods came. I'm not sure if I had 2 periods or just one, but I bled enough for the entire year. One night, I woke up and literally felt it so I tried to book it to the bathroom and I'm telling you guys, even with a pad and panties on, it GUSHED out of me on to the floor. Looked like a murder scene. I took pictures because I'm tired of doctors not believing me. There was a clot half the size of my foot, and I wear an 8 1/2 shoe. I was basically Carrie with blood caked all down my legs. I can't take this crap anymore. I'm terrified to go anywhere on on my period. I bled through my pants BAD at Disney, unknowingly, and I did it again at work.

AND THEN, I gained MORE weight. So I don't care what I have to do, this can't keep going on. As such, I've started not an official diet or workout plan, unless we were to call it the "better choices" diet. The long and short of it is:

Taking CLA, GLA, a fat burner, and BCAAs
Protein all day, every day
No fast food! No cookies! No ice cream! No pizza! NO CRAP!
Cardio in HIIT fashion and weight training, with a specific emphasis on getting an ass
Trying to limit bad carbs like processed sugar, and getting more good carbs like fiber

That's really about it. As I said, better choices.

And finally, I think Mr Dude and I are coming up on a hiatus but maybe not? I know I haven't shared much on that front because honestly, it involves so much of my past that would take forever to explain but I think I will write about it more when we are officially official or break-up. Next week will be 5 months of dating and I think by 6 months, things should be more figured out.

Friday, August 12, 2016

10 1/2 Months

Somebody is getting their 1 year molars!

The other day in the store I gave her a teething biscuit and she loved them. I was so surprised though when I realized she was trying to share it with me. It's little moments like those that make me feel like I'm doing a good job.

Preparations for her birthday party have begun. Trying to do most of it DIY and stay on a relatively small budget.

Getting ready to go back to school has been a constant pain in the ass. I've never dealt with federal student aid before and it's a mess. That and several other things it would take too long to go into. I haven't even had time to think about what life is about to be like and maybe that's a good thing. I'm pretty sure I'll want to pull my hair out constantly.

Speaking of, I need to buy scrubs. I was putting it off because I thought my weight would change and it did but not in the way I was hoping. PCOS and stress have ballooned me up yet again. I was almost as heavy as when I was due with Ava but I guess some was water weight because this morning I'm down 5 pounds.

We are also going on out first plane trip! To Texas to help a friend move back home. It'll be interesting with 2 adults, 3 kids, and a dog. It's 24 hours of driving but I love road trips. Gives me time to think and I need to think about a lot of things.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

10 Months Old

Here we go!

Ava stood ALL BY HERSELF! She's still not walking alone. She's a smart little thing. She's very careful to sit down slowly and always have something to hold onto.

She is most definitely talking. She waves and says hi and bye to everyone. Uh oh is her favorite word. She said thank you again in a correct context.

She has all her front 4 teeth and I see 4 more in the gums.

She's definitely a whiner. Like....a lot. Some days she drives me crazy.

She wears size 5 shoes and 18m to 2t clothes. I know she is 30.5 inches but still don't know her weight. I'm pretty sure it's over 20 pounds though.

I give her hemp milk occasionally since that is what I'll be using as a dairy replacement and she seems to like it. Still no juice but she has had sips of my tea. We're southern for sure.

What's going on with me is that school is about to start and I have a million things to do. Grants will be covering my tuition and I'm expecting a niiice refund so I might be able to cut a day from my schedule depending because Ava will be going to school with me when she turns 1. They have a daycare on campus and they're very learning oriented. It's not cheap and adding an extra day doesn't change the cost much so I'm hoping to switch my work days to another weekday and work less on the weekend. And also, still dating that guy. We're not officially official but I think that decision will be coming up soon after we see how my new schedule works out. He is so good with Ava. I might write a separate post all about dating but for now, that's all I'm going to put out there.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

9 Months Old

It's been forever! My bad, you guys....

We are now out of infant carseat land! The new convertible one matches the old one so most likely Ava will still be in it if a little brother or sister comes along.

She is sooo determined to start walking soon. She's doing everything but.

I think she's saying a few words but I'm not convinced. So far, they might include bear, duck, dog, and thank you.

She can consistently point out a circle and star when SHE wants to.

She's waving hi and bye.

I don't know how big she is. She's wearing 2T in some brands now.

Got some lab work done to see how things are down in baby factory land. My lh:fsh ratio is almost 2:1 so yeah, PCOS is not miraculously cured. And I've gained almost 20 pounds since Ava was born. Wtf. I refuse to let it bother me until she's a year old. I don't want to wean but it's not healthy for me to carry around this weight. Annnnd being selfish here...I kinda want a night to myself. Or a few days vacation, specifically my friend's Bachelorette party 6 hours away for a whole weekend.

Mr. Dude and I are stilllllll dating. Everything is just getting better and no complaints from me.

And we moved! Sweet, sweet victory. No more drive-by shootings and crack houses! I wish I was being sarcastic but I'm not...I'm feeling like woah, I am really rocking this single mom thing. Life is on a general upswing and I am definitely enjoying it.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

8 Months Old

The skills have just exploded in the past two weeks. Ava is crawling in full force, standing up in the playpen, clapping her hands, shaking her head "no", imitating my dad "getting" someone's nose, making all kinds of weird new sounds, and eating things like puffs and rice and mushed up whatever I'm eating. She's becoming so cognizant of things I'm like woah, ok. Learning time!

So that stomach flu turned into something else entirely and long story short, whooping cough couldn't be ruled out. It sounded exactly the same with same symptoms but since these antibiotics, the cough is almost completely gone but she's still snotty. On one hand I've read it's supposed to last like months but real life accounts from nonvaxxing parents have described it as rather quick, more like 2 weeks long.

And after receiving a bunch of varied opinions on the subject, I let Mr Dude meet Ava. We drove north about an hour and spent the day at the beach and visiting a lighthouse. I didn't really care too much for the artifacts themselves but the structures they were housed in were beautiful. Hardwood floors, the fire places, all the mouldings, it was like a Nicole Curtis wet dream. I didn't have any expectations but if I did, he would have exceeded them. Everything was just right. Since then, we've gone out more sans baby and talked more in depth on a series of different subjects so I guess things are going good.